Toxic Revenge
by SariSpy56 Returns
Summary: Penfold felt left out when he and Danger Mouse went to a party hosted by one of DM's old classmates. Meanwhile, someone is planning on killing Penfold, but who would be vile and vicious enough to kill Penfold first and Danger Mouse second?
1. Party at Estella's

_**DISCLAIMER: Danger Mouse (2015) belongs to CBBC!**_

 _ **Danger Mouse's personality is STILL a mix of his 80s personality and his 2015 personality.**_

 _ **Based on the OTP prompt I've found on Tumblr, but I've made some few modifications for this fanfic of mine:**_

 _"Imagine your OTP at a party. Person A, who normally doesn't drink much (or not at all) ends us drinking a lot. Person A does some pretty wild things, and person B can't stop laughing. BONUS: Person B has to take care of a very hungover Person A the next morning."_

 ** _Enjoy!_**

* * *

Penfold was never the one to drink alcohol that much. He never liked the taste of alcohol and the joys of having a terrible hangover the next day. You could say that most of his relatives (with the exception of his younger sister Bambi, his mother, and Aunt Doreen) have consumed a certain amount of alcohol during their lives, whether be at ravishing parties for the super wealthy, or at certain places at certain times where no one is watching.

Even his ex-third cousin Alexander consumed alcohol. Heck, at one point, he was even an alcoholic, even after being sent to jail for trying to kill not just Penfold, but also Danger Mouse as well.

Speaking of which, Danger Mouse also wasn't the kind of person to drink alcohol, except maybe wine on a few occasions.

One of the few occasions is, in this case if you ask me, a party hosted by one of Danger Mouse's former classmates.

That former classmate that is hosting the party tonight is no other than Danger Mouse's former high school crush, Estella.

At first, Danger Mouse wasn't sure if he wanted to go because he was thinking about the possibility that Eric might show up at the party, being the drunken, racist spider that he always has been since high school. But after Penfold convinced him to go and an irritated and scary-looking Professor Squawkencluck threatened to kill Danger Mouse for messing with her stuff in the lab yet again, Danger Mouse decided to go to the party with Penfold tagging along with him.

Besides, he's been saving the world non-stop for the last couple of days. Maybe a harmless party might be good for a change.

()()()()()

The party is at Estella's parent's mansion. It's not as grand and ravishing as Penfold's family's penthouse in New York, but it's still a classy place to live. Estella's parents and older siblings are away on a business trip, giving Estella the opportunity to host a party. Yes, Danger Mouse and his former classmates may be in their mid and late 20s right now, but they're still wild teenagers at heart.

Much like the high school reunion a week before Christmas, Danger Mouse (and Penfold to a lesser extent) is met with eyes staring at him and low whispers being made within several groups of party guests. However, it was only minimum before it stopped completely once Danger Mouse starts having conversations with his former classmates without feeling nervous. Danger Mouse may have had a good time at the party, but Penfold felt like he didn't belong here.

At the high school reunion, both Danger Mouse and Penfold had a good time on their own as Danger Mouse felt that it was not the right time to reconcile with his former classmates that were pretty much mean to him when they were younger. Now, Danger Mouse is reconciling with the former classmates, Estella included, whilst Penfold just sits at one of the sofas in the room the party is taking place in, feeling down and alone.

He wanted to have a good time at the party like everyone else, but he hardly knew anybody in the party. Danger Mouse does because these are the same people that went to the same school as Danger Mouse did when they were younger. All of these people are in their mid 20s and late 20s. Penfold's only 20. What 25-year old would want to hang out with a naive 20-year old that constantly makes bad jokes and can be childish at times?

He knew the answer to that. Danger Mouse.

The one who was once a 17-year old teenager whom he met at a comic-con when Penfold was only 12 years old, going through very hard times as a young tween slowly becoming a young teenager and being placed in the best of private high schools by his overbearing Aunt Doreen who believed that a Penfold has a reputation to uphold in society. Even though they both lived in different countries, they still kept in touch with each other through social media like Facebook video chat calls like Skype and long-distance phone calls (which Aunt Doreen believed it's a waste of time and money.) Occasionally, Danger Mouse had visited Penfold and his family in person, only after Aunt Doreen accused Penfold of making up imaginary friends and not making any real friends in the process.

To a lesser extent, Penfold had also visited Danger Mouse and his family in person. He had met Danger Mouse's mother, sister and most of his relatives during his visit. From what he knows about them, Danger Mouse's relatives are a lot friendlier than most of Penfold's relatives.

When Danger Mouse went to college for the first time, the number of video chat calls and phone calls decreased, much to Aunt Doreen's relief, believing that peasants should not be friends with members of the high society, and that the Penfolds have a reputation to uphold, while also believing that Danger Mouse is noting more than a dangerous person that could hurt Penfold, both physically and mentally, all because of Danger Mouse's eyepatch.

When Penfold was in high school, people only wanted to be friends with him because his family was rich. They never cared if Penfold wanted a real friend to hang out with or if he's in trouble and desperately needs their help. Some would even go so far to use Penfold as a tool to get what they want, and when Penfold is of no use to them anymore, they'll just abandon him, like a pawn in a game of chess. That's when he realized that despite the number of video chat calls and phone calls being reduced, Danger Mouse was his one true friend.

"Oi mate!" One of the party guests, a bull, spoke to Penfold while holding on to a bottle of alcohol. "Care for a drink?"

Penfold gazed at the bull's appearance. He was beefy and muscular for your average bull with brown skin, dark brown eyes and messy black hair tied in a some sort of ponytail. The bull wore a simple white tank top and a pair of jade green jeans.

"Er, no thanks. I'm not really thirsty." Penfold politely turned down the bull's offer.

He never really liked alcohol. And he doesn't want to act like a total idiot after getting a few drinks afterwards.

"Aw, come one, mate. Just a little bit." The bull pleaded. "It'll be lots of fun."

And yet, this was his chance to finally fit in at a party and have fun like Danger Mouse is having right now. What would Aunt Doreen say if she finds out that her nephew has been consuming alcohol at a party fit for peasants? She would blow a fuse, then force Penfold to move back to New York, then force him to marry another snobby rich woman who isn't a scheming con artist this time, and then place a restraining order on both Danger Mouse and Professor Squawkencluck to make sure that the Penfold reputation will not shatter to the ground like glass.

Forget Aunt Doreen! This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. When will he ever have that opportunity again?

"Alright, you've convinced me!" Penfold yanks the bottle off from the bull's hand. "Thank you... um...?"

"Name's Greg, mate." The bull, Greg replied.

"Thank you, Greg." Penfond started thanking Greg.

But the funny thing here is that Greg just ... disappeared into thin air.

"That's odd. I wonder where that bull went too?"

Where exactly did Greg go, you asked? If you must know, dear readers, Greg has excused himself from the party right after giving Penfold a bottle of alcohol and went to an empty room.

Oi! Why does that bull want to be alone where there's a party going on here?

"I'm making a very important phone call, mate!" Greg shouted at the narrator as he dials a phone number from his mobile phone, then he waited for someone from the other line to pick up.

" _Hello? Who is this?"_

"The little hamster known as Penfold took the bait." Greg answered. "He has no idea that the bottle of alcohol I gave to him is poisoned."

" _Good, good. With Penfold out of the picture. I will enact my revenge on him and his friend, Danger Mouse, for foiling my plans for the last time! Keep me posted on future reports."_

"Gladly." Greg hung up.


	2. Friendly Conversations

Danger Mouse was actually a rather modest fellow when it comes to sharing personal stuff with other people. He kept it interesting and engaging, but not enough to make other feel jealous or annoyed at how boastful he could be a times. To be honest, most of his former classmates thought that he wouldn't have a better life once they got out of high school, and yet, he ended up getting a better life than those who ended up having average office jobs working for various corporate companies.

Sure, popularity and social statuses were really important in high school to most teenagers, but it was the last thing anyone with an ounce of brain left would focus on because after high school, none of those things won't matter to anyone anymore. Except maybe in some workplaces these things would matter, but that's a different story.

"As if Danger Mouse has any _ounce_ of brain left in him." Jeopardy Mouse replied from out of nowhere.

Hold up! What in the Queen's name is Jeopardy Mouse doing here at a party? In Britain?!

"Estella invited me to the party after being told to take some time off from work." Jeopardy Mouse replied as she drank her punch from her cup with an uninterested look on her face.

Anything else you might like to add here? The authoress is trying to make this chapter longer to satisfy our readers, you know. Also, we promised our readers to let them know what will happen next since we left the previous chapter in a cliffhanger.

"Michelle's my cousin from America." A blonde, female mouse, definitely Estella, replied to the narrator.

"Estella, I appreciate you helping me cope with the fact that I am being _forced_ to take time off from work, not that I want it in the first place," Jeopardy Mouse said to Estella with a stoic expression on her face. "But dragging me to some wild party isn't going to help."

Estella looks at Jeopardy Mouse in concern. "Michelle, you haven't done anything fun in such a long time. This party could be your chance to do so. This is what people called it a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity."

"How is going to a party a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?" Jeopardy Mouse asked her cousin. "I've seen idiots go there a lot."

Estella smirked. "Maybe for them, true, but ask me this. When was the last time you ever went to a party or had any fun?"

Jeopardy Mouse was going to reply, but stopped herself. Estella was right. When was the last time she had any fun? Or went to a party?

She remembered the times where she and Danger Mouse were forced to work together to save the world from the villainous Baron Greenback a couple of times, and surviving in Quark's latest money-making schemes, also known as episode 15 of the new series. Yes, Danger Mouse might be unprofessional, unfocused and only interested in having fun in her opinion, not to mention being an idiot, but think about it. All those times with him, whether it be saving the world or having small conversations, Danger Mouse managed to bring in some fun into her life. She probably won't admit it to anyone else, but Danger Mouse _knows_ how to have fun. Even in dead-serious situations he would try to lighten up the mood.

"You only have one life to live for." Estella told Jeopardy Mouse. "You may be a totally professional secret agent, but you're not invincible. You're a living being who can be vulnerable to many things that could end in sickness, injury or even death like most people. Make the best of it with your life before it's too late."

"You do have a point there, Estella." Jeopardy Mouse replied.

Estella smiled. "Good, because I want you to meet an old friend of mine from high school once I find him, and maybe you two can work things out together if you know what I mean."

()()()()()

The bottle of alcohol is still within Penfold's grip since Greg's disappearance. The bottle is unusually opened and he could smell the alcohol's foul smell. Greg might've already drank a lot from that bottle, but at least he was kind enough to save some for Penfold.

Maybe just one sip wouldn't hurt.

Penfold closed his eyes, about to drink the alcohol. A sip of alcohol was just about to make contact with his tongue when ...

"STOP!" A male's voice cried out from a distance which catches Penfold's attention.

Penfold had only opened his eyes to see a male black spider smacking the bottle of alcohol off from Penfold's grip and sending it crashing to the wooden floor. The alcohol with some strange green liquid in it was spilled across the wooden floor.

"Oi! What was that for?" Penfold yelled at the black spider. He sees the black spider wearing a red polo shirt and beige pants specifically made just for spiders. He appears to have hazel eyes and has his hair gelled in a 50s bad boy hairdo.

"Didn't anyone warned you to never take things from strangers?" the black spider lectured the irritated hamster. "Especially alcohol?"

"What's wrong with Greg offering me a drink?" Penfold asked the black spider timidly.

"That Greg you're speaking of probably put some drugs or poison in that bottle." The black spider replied, pointing to the spilled alcohol on the floor. "If you wanted a drink, mate, there's a couple of untouched bottles there at the refreshment table where one of Estella's servants is keeping watch to make sure nobody does something dangerous to the refreshments."

Penfold turns to his right and not far off sees the refreshment table where there's lot of food and drinks to choose from, especially alcohol. Standing behind the table was a hound servant guarding the refreshments to make sure no one is putting drugs or poison in them. He walks up to the table, grabs two of the untouched bottles, went back to Eric and gives him one before opening his own bottle of alcohol and taking a few sips from it.

It tasted awful, and good at the same time.

"I guess I owe you a some sort of gratitude, mister ..."

"Eric." The black spider answered as he drinks from his own bottle of alcohol.

Eric? Where has Penfold heard that name before? "Say aren't you the Eric that..."

"...gave Danger Mouse a permanent scar over his left eye when we were teens all because of a stupid math test?" Eric replied casually. "Apparently, everybody's been asking me that. Who knew something like that would turn out to be legendary in the future?"

Eric lowers his head.

Penfold notices this after taking a few more sips. "What's wrong?"

"If you come across Danger Mouse, tell him that ... I'm sorry." Eric answered, feeling guilt-ridden and taking more drinks from his bottle.

"Sorry? For what?"

"For all the terrible things I've done to him since we were teenagers." He was almost on the urge to shed some tears while still drinking. "I was a bloody idiot back then! A stinking, no-good, bloody idiot!"

Penfold pats Eric on the back. "There, there, Eric. Try to put all of those negative memories behind you. It's not good for your health, y'know."

"D-do you think ... he would ... forgive me, mate?" Eric asked Penfold in-between hiccups.

"Eric, I've known Danger Mouse since I was twelve. Of course he'll forgive you." Penfold replied, also in-between hiccups. "Didn't I ever *hic* tell you that Danger Mouse has *hic* arachnophobia?"

Eric narrows his unfocused eyes. "That would *hic* explain the way his *hic* frightened behavior towards me. How did it *hic* all started?"

"Some ugly Cockney spider robbed the Bank of England, then stole his family's *hic* old telly and ate his father when he was 16. That's how he got his arachnophobia." Penfold replied, now starting to drink heavily. "The police never found the telly since."

Unbeknownst to both Penfold and Eric, someone was spying on them from another room. Greg who is not too pleased with the end results.

He dials a phone number from his mobile phone again and went to an empty room for privacy.

" _Hello?"_

"The little hamster known as Penfold did not die." Greg answered. "Some black spider knocked our bottle of poisoned alcohol off from his little hands before telling him to get some untouched ones at the table, and both of them started drinking and sharing conversations to one another."

" _I am disappointed that our plan did not go so well. But I am very interested in their conversation as long as they are still... intoxicated."_

"What do you want me to do?"

" _Eavesdrop on them. Make sure neither of them stops drinking. Then give me some good news in the future."_

"Will do." Greg hung up.

()()()()()

"So who is this old friend of yours you want me to see?" Jeopardy Mouse asked Estella as the latter drags the former into the crowd of party guests. "He better not be a total idiot."

"Don't worry, Michelle. You're going to like Danny O'Malley, trust me." Estella replied. "I don't know about you or Danny getting hooked up, since his recent breakup with Fifi because of work, but I'm certain you two will be the best of friends."

Fifi? Fifi? Where has Jeopardy Mouse heard that name before? "Isn't Fifi..."

"...the director of the greatest Broadway show **_Stop the Planet of the Spiders, I Want to Get Off!_** where I played Nala Jane? Yep." Estella replied happily.

Yes. Jeopardy Mouse remembered that Broadway show. She enjoyed it very much. She watched it along with Penfold (and Stiletto with his girlfriend Fedora) who came without Danger Mouse, she had jumped to conclusions that Danger Mouse was avoiding it to go on another mission or something. That idiot who can't appreciate the fine arts to save his life. After the show was over and followed Penfold to backstage, thinking that Penfold was being suspicious, she realized that Danger Mouse was actually playing the lead role of the play, and boy was Danger Mouse an astonishing and talented actor, with a good singing voice that could beat Justin Beaver (ha-ha get it? Justin _Beaver,_ you see the joke I made there?) at a sing-off. He should've ditched the secret agent career and stick to show business instead.

Estella scans the room and finds Danger Mouse looking at a few classical paintings on the wall after mingling with other party guests non-stop. One of the paintings is "A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte" by Georges-Pierre Seurat. "Danny!"

Estella's voice caught Danger Mouse's attention. He shifts his attention away from the paintings and sees an ecstatic Estella walking towards him.

"Danny, I want you to meet my cousin Michelle who's in serious need of excitement." Estella told Danger Mouse as she shows him ...

"Jeopardy Mouse?" Danger Mouse gasped in shock upon seeing Jeopardy Mouse.

"Danger Mouse?" Jeopardy Mouse also gasped in shock upon seeing Danger Mouse face-to-face in the same room.

Awkward.


	3. More Inside Out References

_**Basically a filler chapter if you will. Don't worry, action and drama will come soon.**_

* * *

"Danny, I want you to meet my cousin Michelle who's in serious need of excitement." Estella told Danger Mouse as she hows him...

"Jeopardy Mouse?" Danger Mouse gasped in shock upon seeing Jeopardy Mouse.

Inside Danger Mouse's head...

"What the heck is Killjoy Mouse doing here?!"Danger Mouse's Anger yelled in anger upon seeing Jeopardy Mouse face-to-face. "In a party of all places?!"

Danger Mouse's Anger turns to Danger Mouse's Fear. "Fear! What's our status?"

"It appears that Estella is introducing us to Jeopardy Mouse, also known as Michelle (which we've learned in chapter 5 of _**A Better Love Story Than Twilight**_ ), even though we have already met her a few times before, sir." Danger Mouse's Fear replied. "Also, it appears that Jeopardy Mouse is Estella's cousin, sir."

"Okay, this is getting awkward here." Danger Mouse's Disgust spoke.

Danger Mouse's Fear spoke again. "Guys, how do we make sure Jeopardy Mouse and us don't start a conflict in front of Estella, our former high school crush?"

Back in the real world...

"Danger Mouse?" Jeopardy Mouse also gasped in shock upon seeing Danger Mouse face-to-face in the same room.

Inside Jeopardy Mouse's head, we see the headquarters of her emotions - Joy, Sadness, Disgust, Anger and Fear. Inside said headquarters, one of Jeopardy Mouse's emotions is shocked to see Danger Mouse at a party, the same one Estella dragged Jeopardy Mouse into in the previous chapter.

"What is that idiot doing here?!" Jeopardy Mouse's Anger yelled in anger.

"Does he realize that he's supposed to be a _secret_ agent doing secret missions, not go to wild parties and drawing attention?!" Jeopardy Mouse's Fear cried in terror.

"Okay, this might sound like a theory here guys, but," Jeopardy Mouse's Joy added. "What if he was also told to get some time off from work? That would explain why he's here in Estella's party."

"She's got a point there." Jeopardy Mouse's Disgust casually told Jeopardy Mouse's Anger. "Even us secret agents need a life sometimes."

Back in the real world, Jeopardy was about to say something when Estella spoke.

"Okay, I'm just going to leave you two alone for now, while I go find my boyfriend."

Danger Mouse and Jeopardy Mouse continue to stare at each other in shock, not noticing Estella slipping away into the crowd.

Inside Jeopardy Mouse's head...

"Did Estella just leave us here with Idiot Mouse?" Jeopardy Mouse's Anger asked, she could almost feel her temper rising. "I bet that idiot is going to do something stupid here!"

"Anger, you're overreacting." Jeopardy Mouse's Joy said to Jeopardy Mouse's Anger. "Tell you what. Let's make a list of all the things Jeopardy Mouse should be happy about."

"Fine, let's see..." Jeopardy Mouse's Anger exasperatedly replied. "Danger Mouse stinks, this party stinks..."

"The guys here are drunken idiots that can and will _hurt_ us women!" Jeopardy Mouse's Fear added in fear.

"Our job is back home." Jeopardy Mouse's Sadness added from another room.

"And a drunken Penfold is having conversations with a stranger on the couch who is equally drunk in which Danger Mouse doesn't even notice." Jeopardy Mouse's Disgust added. "Some _friend_ he is."

Jeopardy Mouse's Joy stayed confident. "Oh come on! It could be worse."

"Yeah, Joy." Jeopardy Mouse's Fear replied with a worried expression. "We could be sharing an awkward conversation with Danger Mouse who might've gotten drunk already."

Jeopardy Mouse's Fear calms down a little. "As long as that doesn't happen..."

Back in the real world...

"So..." Danger Mouse started trying to lighten up the mood. "How's life been treating you lately?"

Inside Jeopardy Mouse's head...

"Are you kidding me?! Out of the blue!" Jeopardy Mouse's Fear cried in panic. "This is not happening!"

Jeopardy Mouse's Fear turns to Jeopardy Mouse's Joy, grabbing the latter by the face, much to the dismay of the other emotions. "Pretend we can't speak stupid English!"

"Don't worry. I got this." Jeopardy Mouse's Joy replied as she takes control of the console.

Back in the real world...

"It's fine." Jeopardy Mouse answered Danger Mouse's question as she and Danger Mouse looked at the paintings on the wall. "How about you?"

"The usual." Danger Mouse replied as he looks at the painting "Luncheon of the Boating Party" by Pierre-Auguste Renoir. "Did you ever get back together with your ex-boyfriend, Jason?"

Jeopardy Mouse looked at him weirdly. "Where did you get that info?"

"Chapter 5 of **_A Better Love Story Than Twilight_** where you played the annoying gum commercial on the radio by mistake to get Jason's attention, and you got mine as well." Danger Mouse replied. "Speaking of which, the professor recently got the Mark 4's radio annoying-gum-commercial-proof."

Inside Jeopardy Mouse's head...

"At least he's not drunk." Jeopardy Mouse's Joy said.

Back in the real world...

"Good for her to do that." Jeopardy Mouse said with a smile on her face.

A smile on her face? Since when does Jeopardy Mouse smile while talking to Danger Mouse?

"Hey! I've smiled a few times!" Jeopardy Mouse yelled at the narrator before turning her attention to Danger Mouse again. "And to answer your question, no. I did not get back together with Jason."

Inside Danger Mouse's head...

"She didn't get back together with Jason?" Danger Mouse's Anger asked in shock at Jeopardy Mouse's answer.

"What should we do?" Danger Mouse's Fear asked.

"I got this one." Danger Mouse's Sadness spoke as he takes over the controls. "Joy, help me out here!"

Back in the real world...

"I... I'm sorry to hear that." Danger Mouse replied in remorse. "I guess the only theory to think of is that Jason might've been ... an idiotic jerk?"

Jeopardy Mouse was deeply surprised to hear that respond from someone whom she considered to be an immature idiot. Normally, in _her_ opinion, he wouldn't bother caring about other people's feelings unless it was his own and Penfold's.

Maybe she was wrong to think that Danger Mouse was an immature, unprofessional idiot who is only interested in having fun. Compared to her ex-boyfriend Jason, Danger Mouse is a gentleman.

"Yeah, you could say Jason was an idiotic jerk." Jeopardy Mouse replied as she looks at the painting "The Starry Night" by Vincent van Gogh angrily. "I tried fixing my relationship with him during his wedding, but he had the _nerve_ to insult me in front of civilians in a church!"

"Were you in your spy uniform or in your civilian clothes where no one knows you're a secret agent when that happened?" Danger Mouse asked.

Jeopardy Mouse looks at him weirdly. "I'm smart enough to not go in my spy uniform when I'm not doing missions."

Danger Mouse chuckled a little. "You may have fooled innocent bystanders with your civilian identity, but Penfold told me one time that he was able to recognize you without your suit when you accidentally interrupted the wedding his Aunt Doreen made him go through. She was the same one that insulted both our jobs the last time we teamed up."

"That snobby hamster was Penfold's aunt?!" She cried in shock.

Inside Jeopardy Mouse's head...

"Why did he have to bring _that_ up?" Jeopardy Mouse's Disgust groaned.

Inside Danger Mouse's head...

"Why did you have to bring _that_ up?" Danger Mouse's Anger groaned while asking Danger Mouse's Disgust.

"So that she won't accuse us of being idiots for asking her _that_ sort of question." Danger Mouse's Disgust replied. "I'm totally tired of her calling DM an idiot!"

Back in the real world, Jeopardy Mouse was shocked at what Danger Mouse had asked her.

Yes, she remembered that unpleasant encounter with Aunt Doreen in New York where she and Danger Mouse had to team up again to stop Baron Greenback from stealing the Statue of Liberty. That snobby, high-class woman had insulted her job by telling her to 'stop working on a man's job, go find a husband and settle down for this was the woman's job to keep house and look after the children'. Although Danger Mouse was at least smart enough to keep his cool when that snobby woman insulted him, Jeopardy Mouse made a very stupid decision by losing her temper and (rightfully) attacking that snobby woman... in front of bystanders going around their normal activities. It was _embarrassing_. She knew that if her boss found out about this incident, she would lose her job. Her boss found out about the incident, and, instead of firing her, he gives her a week's suspension.

During that week, Danger Mouse had the right idea to teach her some of the calming techniques he had learned from the Himalayan monk when he was an angry teenager. She knows he could've leave her to her problems and be the immature idiot he was in her opinion, but he helped her instead.

"Why did you choose to stay and help me calm down after I got suspended that one time?" Jeopardy Mouse asked Danger Mouse.

"Because I've been through the same thing you did." Danger Mouse answered.

"You got suspended before?" Jeopardy Mouse asked with such disbelief.

"No, but I've been fired once in the first episode of the new series." Danger Mouse replied.

She eyed Danger Mouse with curiosity. "Any reason why you got fired?"

"Destroyed half of London while retrieving a stolen chair from Pandaminion." Danger Mouse answered. "And everyone's convinced that Greenback has turned over a new leaf."

"And you believed he did?" Jeopardy Mouse asked. "Because I don't."

Danger Mouse shook his head. "No. I honestly believed he was up to no good like usual. Half-way through the 22-minute episode, I was _almost_ convinced that he really did turn over a new leaf, and I would have if I haven't stumbled onto his latest scheme to take over the world when I went to apologize to him."

He continued. "Anyway, you had the right intention of giving Penfold's Aunt Doreen what she deserved, but a smart person knows that two wrongs don't make a right. You see why I didn't attack Penfold's Aunt Doreen when she insulted me."

Jeopardy Mouse pretty much got Danger Mouse's point. "No one likes a vengeful hero, even if some rude civilians deserve to have some sort of comeuppance."

"I get it. It was unprofessional of me to attack a defenseless civilian." Jeopardy Mouse cried in annoyance before giving Danger Mouse a genuine smile. "Thanks for helping me calm down."

He looked at Jeopardy Mouse before turning his attention back to "A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte" by Georges-Pierre Seurat.

"You're welcome."


	4. The Hand of Midas

"Have I *hic* told you lately that *hic* you're awesome?" A now drunken Penfold found himself lying on the floor, giggling like an idiot while staring at an equally drunk Eric. Penfold seems to be drinking way too much alcohol.

"Y'know, *hic* I watched _way_ too many *hic* cartoons when DM and I aren't on missions."

"That's normal, mate." Eric replied as he drank some more. "I watched cartoons too."

Behind the couch, Greg groaned at the conversation between Penfold and Eric. So far, there have been nothing that are worth listening to.

 _This is torture._

"Cor! Didn't *hic* I ever tell you that Swiss chocolate is Danger Mouse's only weakness besides large spiders?" Penfold asked Eric.

Greg smiled as he writes what he heard down on his notepad.

 _Now THIS is worth listening to. Danger Mouse's known weaknesses are large spiders and Swiss chocolate._

"Ah, he likes foreign sweets?" Eric replied. "That's pretty awesome, mate. Do you have a favorite kind of candy?"

"Yep. It's gumdrops!" Penfold cried happily, still giggling like an idiot. "Those sweet, juicy gumdrops! The taste is gonna move ya ..."

"Oi, I remember that song from that one gum commercial!" Eric smiled. "Though it does get quite annoying afterwards."

Penfold's face lets out a relished expression. "I know! Just like that one gum commercial song used in _**Inside Out.** "_

Greg shook his head in disbelief as he continues to jot things down onto his notepad. He's hoping that Penfold spills out more secrets worth jotting down instead of talking complete nonsense throughout the entire evening,and probably the entire chapter. Can we cut to something else worth reading? This scene is getting more boring by the minute!

"Y'know the one woman Danger Mouse loves more than any other woman in the world, Eric?" Penfold asked Eric again.

Eric raised one of his eight eyebrows. "Estella's hot cousin from America?"

Penfold shook his head. "Nope. His _mum._ "

 _Interesting._ Greg thought as he writes that down on his notepad.

"What kind of person _doesn't_ love his mum?" Eric joked as he drinks some more from his bottle of alcohol. Both he and Penfold laugh like idiots.

How long is that scene going to take? This is torture! Cut that sort of nonsense and do something! This is a Danger Mouse fanfiction, not a Twilight fanfiction! I never thought I would say this but, I'd rather be watching another ridiculous and out-of-control episode of _**Danger Mouse**_ focusing on _another_ alternate-universe story than having to narrate this boring scene to death!

"Narrators." Penfold muttered. "They're always over-dramatic."

Eric then spots a couple of people singing karaoke at the far side of the room, and a group of people watching. "Say, mate. have you ever tried karaoke before?"

"Once, before me auntie Doreen forbid me from doing that because she believed that someone like me shouldn't waste his time doing 'peasant activities' she would often call them." Penfold replied, having stopped drinking for a moment.

"Ah, you come from a rich family?" Eric asked Penfold with such interest.

Penfold nodded.

"Sweet."

 _Interesting. Penfold's Aunt Doreen is VERY overprotective of him and the family name._ Greg thought as he writes that information down on his notepad. _Oh, and he comes from a very rich family._

Are we getting somewhere?

"How about we try some karaoke, mate?" Eric asked Penfold.

Penfold jolts upwards and carelessly throws the bottle over the couch Eric is sitting at. "Sounds like fun!"

Finally! We're getting somewhere here with this blasted chapter! How long will it take for BBC Radio 6 to call me back, hm? I _clearly_ deserve to be a rather dashing radio announcer for Britain than be the narrator of some third-rate fanfiction written by a Canadian college student who happens to be a woman! Please don't make me continue on narrating this blasted chapter of this blasted story!

Ahem, sorry about that.

Let's continue on with the story, shall we?

Now where was I? Oh yes! Ahem, what Penfold doesn't know is that the bottle that he had thrown over the couch had knocked an eavesdropping Greg out cold. Penfold and Eric were too drunk to realize that as they get themselves up and walk towards the karaoke to join in on the fun.

But what about Danger Mouse and Jeopardy Mouse you may ask?

"Ever heard of the legendary artifact called the Hand of Midas?" Jeopardy Mouse asked Danger Mouse a rather different question as they observed the party.

His ears perk upwards. Jeopardy Mouse continued in a deadpan tone. "Before you say anything, I am _not_ referring to the _good_ direct-to-video sequel of _**Aladdin.**_ "

"The one where Aladdin reunites with his long-lost father who happens to be the leader of the infamous 40 thieves and is looking for the legendary Hand of Midas?" Danger Mouse had the _nerve_ to ask her that. It was stupid in his opinion, but he needed to know _which_ sequel Jeopardy Mouse is referring to.

She nodded. "It would've been better if it had gotten a _theatrical_ release instead of a direct-to-video release."

 _ **Aladdin and the King of Thieves?**_ Being released in theaters rather than direct-to-video? Has Jeopardy Mouse gone mad?! We're talking about a bad Disney direct-to-video sequel with mediocre animation, terrible story, terrible characters and terrible songs, and Jeopardy Mouse said that _**Aladdin and the King of Thieves**_ is good?! I must be in a different world or something due to how insane it's going right now. Wait, there was already an episode where Danger Mouse and Baron Greenback met their alternate selves, which means that the Jeopardy Mouse from the alternate world _should've_ been an immature villain in contrast to the real Jeopardy Mouse being a tough, no-nonsense secret agent.

"Maybe it's just you going insane, Isambard, and speaking of alternate worlds, I never encountered Jeopardy Mouse's alternate self throughout the entire episode, and neither did Penfold's alternate self." Danger Mouse spoke to the narrator. "Besides, it's just a harmless Disney movie."

Just a-! Now look here, Danger Mouse! You do realize that we're talking about one of the biggest corporations in the ENTIRE WORLD! The big guys that made lots of money worldwide! And don't call me Isambard!

"We know what and _who_ Disney is. Disney's been around since the 30s." Jeopardy Mouse spoke to the narrator this time.

"Actually, Disney's been around since the _20s."_ Danger Mouse corrects her. "Now where were we before we went off topic and had a little talk with Isambard?"

Do _not_ call me Isambard! Only my friends call me that!

"Assuming you _have_ friends." Danger Mouse said to the narrator.

Jeopardy Mouse coughed before replying. "I was asking you if you've ever heard of the legendary artifact called the Hand of Midas."

"The Hand of Midas?" Danger Mouse scratched one of his ears. "I think I might've heard about it years ago, maybe even _seen_ it in person, but I'm not the one to have a photographic memory about it. I mean, it's been like years since I've last seen the Hand of Midas."

Jeopardy Mouse raised an eyebrow with such interest. "I've reckoned you were an archaeologist once?"

Danger Mouse an archaeologist?! Sounds like a potential episode to narrate in the future. Something to keep the fans invested in that ridiculous cartoon kids are watching nowadays when they _should_ be reading a book to keep their brain cells healthy. I say, cartoons nowadays could only rot their brain cells with utter nonsense!

"Do you mind?" Jeopardy Mouse glared at the unseen narrator. "I was asking Danger Mouse a question here."

Sorry, do continue on with your conversation.

Danger Mouse shook his head. "I would've consider being an archaeologist if this spy thing doesn't work out in the end."

"So what were you when you last saw the Hand of Midas?" Jeopardy Mouse asked.

"A first-year college student at the age of 17." He replied. "It happened on a history class field trip."

"Do tell me."

Inside Jeopardy Mouse's head...

"This should be interesting." Jeopardy Mouse's Anger said with a smirk.

Back in the real world...

Danger Mouse spoke again. "The history professor, Mr. WhatexactlyishisnameIcan'tremember-"

He saw Jeopardy Mouse glaring at him as if he was being suspicious. "I'm sorry. His name _always_ escapes my mind whenever I think back about it."

Jeopardy Mouse smirked. "Let me guess. His name is _so_ hard to pronounce?"

"It's not that his name is _hard_ to pronounce, I can pronounce it fine." Danger Mouse replied. "It's that his name is just so... long."

Then tell us what his name is if it's not that hard to pronounce.

Jeopardy Mouse sighed. "Didn't you read what Danger Mouse said four paragraphs ago?"

I'm sorry, I was in the loo when that happened. What did Danger Mouse say five paragraphs ago?

She sighed again. Honestly, that narrator is getting on her nerves, more so than Danger Mouse does in the past. "He said that his history teacher's name always escapes his mind whenever he thinks about the last time he saw the Hand of Midas."

Is he referring to the actual artifact or some cheap plot device from **_Aladdin and the King of Thieves?_**

"I was obviously referring to the actual artifact, thank you." Danger Mouse coughed before continuing. "Anyway, he took the class I was in on a expedition. He seems to be rather interested in the legendary Hand of Midas, an ancient artifact that can turn anything, and I do mean _anything,_ into solid gold."

He chuckled a little. "I kinda find it hard to believe that the Hand of Midas the class is looking for turned out to be similar to _the_ Hand of Midas from _**Aladdin and the King of Thieves.**_ Only the location of the artifact that I remembered is a lot more different than the one in the movie."

"Who knew Disney movies would end up predicting the future." Jeopardy Mouse replied, chuckling along the way. "Especially direct-to-video Disney sequels."

She looked at Danger Mouse. "Do you remember the place the artifact was located in?"

"Amenta, the ancient City of the Dead."

Her eyes began to shrink a little. "That's in Egypt."

"I _know_ it's in Egypt." Danger Mouse replied.

Jeopardy Mouse nodded before looking directly at the reader reading this from the computer screen. "Yeah, but _they_ didn't know that."

Now it's Danger Mouse's turn to look directly at the reader reading this from the computer screen. "Oh, I see what you mean. Thanks for pointing that out."

"Shall we continue on with this?" She asked Danger Mouse who nods in respond.

"So anyway," He continued. "The Hand of Midas was in Amenta, so we had to take a flight trip to Egypt and set up the campsite near the ancient city where it's closer. For about seven to eight days, we look around the entire city in hopes of finding the artifact, though we split up into groups. I was in a group where we managed to locate the Hand of Midas."

"You told me earlier that you didn't have a photographic memory." Jeopardy Mouse eyed him. "So how do you keep track on what route your group took and all the things you should remember to look out for the next time you decided to find the Hand of Midas in case someone with an evil mind decided to steal it."

"Glad you asked." Danger Mouse replied as he pulls out a brown journal from one of his pockets. "I wrote all that I needed to know in this. In case I have to go back to Amenta to stop some villain from stealing the Hand of Midas, I can always count on my journal to guide me there."

"Just remember that, like you said before, the Hand of Midas can turn _anything_ into gold." Jeopardy Mouse interrupted. "So in case someone gets turned into solid gold either by accident or by some villain, have you written down the _antidote_ for it?"

Before Danger Mouse could answer that very important question, he and Jeopardy Mouse hear the sound of a bad singing voice coming not far away from where they are. Good heavens! It sounded like a dying cat! What in the Queen's name is going on here? To find the answers to this question, Danger Mouse and Jeopardy Mouse follow the source of the sound, politely asking people to move out of their way by saying, "Excuse me." There, they see a huge gathering at the TV where people are doing karaoke. Some of them were cheering while others are laughing like hyenas.

It was then Danger Mouse's eyes shrink in horror and Jeopardy Mouse made a small gasp... and trying her best to hold back her laughter.

A very drunk Penfold is singing "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus (people nowadays have no taste in real music) horribly.

"Penfold, what is the meaning of this?!"


	5. DM Gets an Inside Out Experience

" _I came in like a wrecking ball_!" A very drunk Penfold is obviously singing "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus horribly, like the sound of a dying cat.

Surrounding our drunk friend were several party guests either cheering at him or laughing at him like a bunch of hyenas. Heh-heh, you have to admit that Penfold singing while drunk is pretty funny. Especially when he's singing that blasted song.

"Penfold, what is the meaning of this?!" We hear Danger Mouse yell not too far away from the crowd.

Just the sound of his chief's voice made Penfold stop singing. Thank goodness for that! I rather not hear him singing for a while because of what I've just read three paragraphs ago! My eardrums hurt!

"Oh don't be such a drama queen, Invisobill!" Penfold shouted at the narrator before looking at Danger Mouse weirdly and trying his best to hold back his laughter while also trying to keep himself from tipping over.

Danger Mouse knew that he would not like what he sees before him. Penfold, out of all the people in London, looking like he had been drinking and partying too much at best and getting into a huge fights at worst. Just look at the state of his clothes! All wrinkly and a mess. It looked like he had either been caught in a terrible storm or got into a car accident.

And then Penfold giggled like a bloody idiot, at Danger Mouse no less. "Hello, Mr. Big Mouse!"

And then Jeopardy Mouse couldn't contain her laughter any more as she started laughing at a very drunk Penfold, and the fact that he called his friend 'Mr. Big Mouse', so much that her face turned bright red the more she laughed. "This is even funnier than the time Jason's parents made him take a job at a diner last month as punishment."

What would Aunt Doreen say if she finds out about this?

Danger Mouse tried his very best to not look upset about this whole ordeal, his white face also turning bright red from embarrassment. And it was then, he notices how disoriented and unfocused Penfold's eyes were. It was there he had come to a very grim conclusion.

Penfold has been drinking. Perhaps one too many to be precise.

"Penfold," He began to speak to Penfold, trying his very hardest to not look crossed, even though all of his emotions inside his head appeared to be very crossed. "Have you been drinking?"

"No, Mr. Big Mouse." It was pretty obvious that Penfold is lying due to the sound of his voice. It sounded playful as if he was messing with Danger Mouse's patience. "I wasn't drinking."

Inside Danger Mouse's head...

"He's been drinking." Danger Mouse's Disgust informed the other emotions. "I can tell by the way he talks, stands and how his eyes looked disoriented and unfocused."

"What was he thinking? Penfold _never_ drinks alcohol." Danger Mouse's Anger said as he tries to find some answers to Penfold's situation. "So what made him decided to drink anyway?"

"My guess would be peer pressure, sir." Danger Mouse's Fear replied. "He wanted to fit in so he decided to drink alcohol for once."

Danger Mouse's Anger shook his head. "That can't be it. He wouldn't do something like that in his own free will. _Someone_ must've talked to him to doing it, but who?"

Back in the real world, Penfold continues to laugh like a bloody idiot at Danger Mouse.

Inside Danger Mouse's head...

"Sir, he just laughed at us!" Danger Mouse's Fear reported to Danger Mouse's Anger.

"Alright, make a show of force." Danger Mouse's Anger spoke to the other emotions. "I don't wanna have to put the foot down."

"No." Danger Mouse's Fear cried. "Not the foot."

Back in the real world, Penfold continues to laugh like a bloody idiot before collapsing onto the floor, and _still_ laughing like a bloody idiot.

Inside Danger Mouse's head.

"Sir, reporting high levels of alcohol overdose!" Danger Mouse's Fear reported to Danger Mouse's Anger.

Danger Mouse's Anger turned to Danger Mouse's Fear with a much serious look on his face. "Take it to Death Con 2!"

"You heard it, gentlemen!" Danger Mouse's Fear spoke to the other emotions as the alarms in Headquarters go off.. "Death Con 2!"

Back in the real world...

"Penfold, what is the matter with you?!" Danger Mouse tried to reason with the out-of-control Penfold.

Inside Danger Mouse's head...

"Here it comes!" Danger Mouse's Anger cried before turning to the other emotions. "Prepare the foot!"

The other emotions each broke the glasses of their keyhole in the main console and insert his key into the slot.

"Keys to safety position!" Danger Mouse's Fear hollered.

With all the keys inserted and turned, a huge red button in Danger Mouse's Fear's section lights up.

"Ready to launch on your command, sir!" Danger Mouse's Fear informed Danger Mouse's Anger.

Back in the real world, Penfold is _still_ laughing like a bloody idiot until finally, he passed out, which caused Danger Mouse to flinch a little before keeping his cool.

Inside Danger Mouse's head...

"FIRE!" Danger Mouse's Anger ordered as Danger Mouse's Fear pressed the button.

Back in the real world...

"That's it, Penfold. I'm taking you home right now." Danger Mouse spoke firmly as he carries his assistant bridal-style and left the crowd who are still laughing and not realizing what was happening.

Inside Danger Mouse's head...

"The foot is down! The foot is down!" Danger Mouse's Fear cried in relief as the other emotions cheered at their success.

"Great job, gentlemen." Danger Mouse's Anger congratulated the other emotions as he sits back and relax. "That could've been a disaster."

Back in the real world, Jeopardy Mouse stopped laughing when she notices Danger Mouse carrying an unconscious Penfold with him and leaving the scene and party. Since when did Danger Mouse start getting so... serious? For the longest time, she wanted Danger Mouse to stop goofing off and be more serious when on missions. She should've been happy that he is starting to take the initiative in a situation like this.

So why doesn't she feel happy about it?

()()()()()

Meanwhile, Greg has regained consciousness after Penfold accidentally knocked him out cold with a beer bottle in the previous chapter. He eventually woke up just in time to witness Danger Mouse leaving the party with an unconscious Penfold in his arm, probably passed out from alcohol overdose.

Even though he's not pleased that Penfold didn't die from the poisoned alcohol he had offered to him in chapter 1, he is rather pleased that he's got enough info about both Penfold and Danger Mouse to give to his boss, plus Penfold ended up passing out from alcohol overdose, which means that Penfold might die from it if he's unlucky.

 _I will inform my boss about it first thing in the morning._ Greg thought as he steps outside the mansion just in time to see the Mark 4 take off to HQ.

()()()()()

 ** _The next day..._**

"Crikey!" Penfold cried as he gets out of bed very late in the morning, still in his messy suit, and joins Danger Mouse and Professor Squawkencluck in the main area for breakfast. "I just had the worst headache last night!"

He feels his forehead. "It hurts like hell, and it still does!"

"That, Penfold, is a hangover you're experiencing right now." Danger Mouse explained to Penfold while eating his toast. "You've been consuming too much alcohol last night."

"I did?" Penfold questions his best friend. "I can't remember what I did last night."

Danger Mouse and Professor Squawkencluck looked at each other for a moment before looking at Penfold again. "I don't think you really want to remember what happened last night."

"Oh, that's okay, DM." Penfold replied with a small smile on his face. "Guess I probably did something silly last night. It's not like it's going to hurt anybody."

" _Disastrous, DM!"_ Colonel K's hologram cried frantically as it appears from out of nowhere. "W _e've got an emergency here!"_

"What's the problem, Colonel?" Danger Mouse asked the hologram. "Is Greenback up to no good again?"

" _Worse!"_ Colonel K's hologram replied.

"What can be worse than Baron Greenback being up to no good again, Colonel?" Professor Squawkencluck asked.

 _"Some evil villain has broken out of the maximum security prison on a remote island last night, and according to the SpamChops post my 12-year old nephew had found on the Internet, he's out to get Penfold's blood!"_ Colonel K's hologram explained.

Danger Mouse, Penfold and Professor Squawkencluck gasped, but especially Penfold.

"Someone wants me dead?" Penfold cried, horrified that someone wants him dead.

" _That and then he's out to get Danger Mouse's blood once you're out of the picture, and then he plans to steal the legendary Hand of Midas in which I am NOT referring to the plot device from **Aladdin and the King of Thieves.** " _Colonel K's hologram said to Penfold casually before disappearing.

"Who would be vile and vicious enough to kill Penfold first and Danger Mouse second?" Professor Squawkencluck asked herself. "It can't be Baron Greenback. I don't think he holds a vendetta against Penfold."

Danger Mouse thinks for a moment. Someone wants Penfold dead, but if it's not Baron Greenback who is out to get Penfold's blood, then who?

Sudden realization hits him like fire.

But before Danger Mouse can tell Penfold, the professor and the readers who would be vile and vicious enough to kill Penfold first and Danger Mouse second, you will have to tune in to the next exciting chapter of **_Danger Mouse: Toxic Revenge!_**


	6. A Gumdrop Bomb

Where we last left near the end of the previous chapter, sudden realization hits Danger Mouse like fire when it comes to finding out who would be vile and vicious enough to kill Penfold first and Danger Mouse second. I can't wait! The suspense is killing me!

Tell me who is the villain, DM!

"Alright, steady on." Danger Mouse spoke to the narrator. "The villain that wants Penfold dead is..."

But before Danger Mouse could reveal the name of the vile villain, Jeopardy Mouse enters the main room. Hang on! Jeopardy Mouse?! Why didn't someone warn me and our dear readers of her arrival? Ugh! She's delaying Danger Mouse's answer to the most important question so far!

"Jeopardy Mouse?" Penfold asked Jeopardy Mouse upon seeing her. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard it from the Internet that some evil villain has broken out of prison last night and is out to get you." Jeopardy Mouse informed Penfold.

"I know. The Colonel already told us in the previous chapter." Penfold replied.

Jeopardy Mouse eyed the little hamster. "Did he tell any of you who the villain is?"

"Danger Mouse was going to tell us who would be vile and vicious enough to kill Penfold in the previous chapter, but the authoress had to wrap the previous episode up so that the previous chapter won't be too long, and she wants to keep things suspenseful for the readers." Professor Squawkencluck answered Jeopardy Mouse's question.

"Now that we're in a new chapter, he was about to tell us who the villain is when you showed up without any warning." Penfold added.

Jeopardy Mouse looked at Danger Mouse. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay. It keeps the readers at the edge of their seats." Danger Mouse replied. "Though they're not going to be happy that we keep delaying this throughout the entire chapter."

Professor Squawkencluck's patience is about to grow thin. "Can you please tell us who the villain is?"

"Alright," Danger Mouse sighed. "The villain that wants Penfold dead is..."

 _DING DONG!_

"Ding Dong?" Penfold asked, looking confused. "Never heard of a villain named Ding Dong."

Danger Mouse sighed. "That's the doorbell, Penfold."

"I'll get it." Penfold cried as he leaves the main room to answer the door.

When he opened the door, no one was there.

"That's funny." He muttered as he raised one of his eyebrows. "There's no one at the door.

His eyes scan the area for any signs of the person that uses the doorbell. He looks at his left to see the real Colonel K ordering one of Mike's pies. He looks at his right to see a familiar-looking pink hippo reading a newspaper while wearing a large trench-coat, a fedora and a pair of sunglasses. He look up in the sky to see nothing but birds soaring through London... and bird droppings falling onto unsuspected cars. PHEW! These bird droppings reek! Worse than my mum's perfume.

Finally, Penfold looks below onto the ground where he sees an unfamiliar-looking box, all neatly wrapped up, on the pavement. On the box is a card. Curiosity got the better of Penfold as he picks up the box and reads what is written on the card.

 ** _Ernest Penfold,_**

 ** _Please take this box full of sweet, juicy gumdrops as a token of my appreciation. I hope that we can be great friends in the future._**

 ** _Sincerely yours,_**

 ** _A friend._**

"Aww, isn't that sweet!" Penfold cried happily as he brings the box back to the main room.

"Who was at the door?" Danger Mouse asked his friend.

"No one, chief," Penfold replied. "Though he was kind enough to send me a box full of sweet gumdrops. I don't know how he knows that gumdrops are my favorite."

 _Something seems off about it, but I just can't put my finger into it._ Danger Mouse thought as he eyed Penfold opening the box full of gumdrops in the shape of a ball and proceeds to eat the gumdrops. All of the gumdrops are in different colors - red, orange, yellow, green, white and purple.

All except for one gumdrop - black.

"Is something burning here?" Jeopardy Mouse asked everyone that was present in the main room.

Burning? Danger Mouse's nose starts to pick up an unexpected scent. It smells like smoke.

Jeopardy Mouse is right. Something _is_ burning here. But where?

"Professor, did any of your inventions go hay-wired this morning? On their own?" Danger Mouse asked the professor who shook her head.

"It would've activated the smoke detector in my lab if that happened." Professor Squawkencluck replied.

If it's not one of the professor's inventions going hay-wired, then where is the smoke coming from?

Danger Mouse's nose follows the scent of the smell to its source.

What?!

It's coming from Penfold's box full of sweet gumdrops?! That can't be right!

"Unless..." Danger Mouse grabs a black gumdrop from the box.

Penfold looked irritated a little. "I was going to eat that black one later."

Danger Mouse eyed the black gumdrop. It may look like the other gumdrops in the box, but- EGAD! It's a bomb!

"It's a bomb!" He shrieked as he quickly throws the gumdrop bomb into the nearest trashcan where, right on cue, explodes, startling everyone in the room, including me!

Even _I_ didn't know there was a bomb in that box.

Penfold slowly puts the gumdrop he was going to eat back in the box and puts the box on the counter. "Oh ick! I've got bombs inside me!"

"Activate iPatch." Danger Mouse said as his iPatch activates to show him an x-ray vision of Penfold. He scans Penfold's body for any signs of a bomb. No bomb readings showed up.

 _"No bombs detected."_ The artificial voice from his iPatch informed Danger Mouse.

Danger Mouse then does the scan of the box full of gumdrops for any signs of a bomb. Like Penfold's stomach, no bomb reading showed up.

 _"No bombs detected._ The artificial voice from his iPatch informed Danger Mouse. _"Though there are high levels of sugar and calories."_

"I don't think _that's_ important right now." Danger Mouse informed his iPatch before turning to Penfold, Professor Squawkencluck and Jeopardy Mouse.

"Why would there be a bomb hidden in a box full of candies?" Professor Squawkencluck asked.

"It appears that the person that gave Penfold the box full of gumdrops wants Penfold dead." Danger Mouse answered as he examines the box. It was a well-decorated cylindrical box with three coats of rich red paint and decorative white bead borders on its lid. He then checks the bottom of the box where he sees a writing on it.

 ** _Made in New York._**

This was the kind of box that either only the wealthy of New York could afford, or someone with an artistic gift could make by hand. The only people he knew that lived in New York are Jeopardy Mouse, Conway, Natasha and Penfold's family. Jeopardy Mouse is ruled out since she's with him and Professor Squawkencluck when Penfold answered the door, and he was talking to her at Estella's party last night - the night the villain broke out of prison.

Conway and Natasha both turned over a new leaf the last time he and Penfold encountered them in New York when they used to work with an evil individual who wants to get his hands on the Penfold fortune. They've recently moved from their old apartment to a nice house in the suburbans where they had a child together - a little girl named Jennifer. Neither of them were arrested the last time he and Penfold saw them, and none of them hold any grudge against Penfold.

So that only leaves Penfold's family.

"Penfold, is anyone in your family artistically gifted?" Danger Mouse asked Penfold.

"Only my mother, Chief. And cousin Mallory whom I rarely see." Penfold replied. "Why?"

"Your mother is a very nice lady, and we've never met Mallory before, and I doubt she would want you dead. So that means that someone in your family has enough money to buy this box full of gumdrops and then place a bomb inside to kill you, so that only leaves..."

Who? WHO?! The suspense is killing me!

"Alexander Penfold."

Jeopardy Mouse is confused at this. "Who?"

"Penfold's treacherous third cousin." Professor Squawkencluck answered.

" _Ex-_ third cousin, professor." Penfold corrects the professor. "Dad disowned him, remember?"

Sorry, I don't remember it.

Danger Mouse rolled his right eye, annoyed at the narrator. "How can you _not_ remember that? You narrated all 15 chapters of _**A Better Love Story Than Twilight**_!?"

"What does Alexander have to do with the fact that a villain broke out of prison last night and wants Penfold dead?" Jeopardy Mouse asked Danger Mouse. "I don't get it."

"Activate iPatch." Danger Mouse reactivates his iPatch. "Upload the photo that Sly Cooper has sent to me on SpamChops on the day of Alexander Penfold's arrest."

" _Uploading..."_ the artificial voice from his iPatch searches for the photo Danger Mouse is looking for. " _Photo found."_

The iPatch shows Danger Mouse a picture of a tall and lean hamster with piercing emerald green eyes and blond hair slicked back with hair gel handcuffed and being hauled out of the chapel by security guards. His blond hair is a mess and his black tuxedo is all wrinkly. The iPatch edited the photo by removing everything else around the hamster from the photo so that only Danger Mouse could see the picture of Alexander

"Search through criminal records for a match on Alexander Claudius Penfold." He ordered the iPatch.

" _Finding a match..."_ the artificial voice from his iPatch searches through various criminal records that matches the profile of Alexander. _"Match found."_

The iPatch shows Danger Mouse, Penfold, Professor Squawkencluck and Jeopardy Mouse the digital criminal record of Alexander Penfold aka. inmate #05191992.

" _That's_ the villain that broke out of prison last night!" Jeopardy Mouse cried.

"Good grief." Danger Mouse muttered, realizing the grim truth as he looks at Penfold. "Penfold, we're in deep trouble."


	7. Junk Mail and an Invite

Meanwhile, somewhere in the outskirts of London on a beautiful day like this, we zoom in to an abandoned warehouse where inside the dark, spooky, creepy, dirty, abandoned warehouse where many evil villains hide out in (seriously, can't we come up with something new here?), we see the evil, treacherous, most vile and vicious villain the world has ever known.

Little know fact about this villain is that he is far more snobby than Dawn aka. the Princess...

"Phooey!" the Princess muttered in annoyance.

...more intelligent than Pandaminion whose IQ is way below average...

"I was an evil villain once." Pandaminion said to the narrator casually.

...more cunning and good-looking than Stiletto whose Italian accent is STILL worse than Sly Cooper's...

"Okay, enough with a-comparing my accent with a-Sly Cooper's!" An irritated Stiletto yelled at the narrator.

...more manipulative than Quark...

"Eh, thanks for the compliment, pal." Quark replied to the narrator.

"He's talking about me, stupid!" The mouth on Quark's stomach yelled at Quark.

...and definitely more vicious than the evil Baron Silas von Greenback himself.

"Who could be more vicious than me, you half-witted narrator?!" Baron Greenback yelled at the narrator.

"MWA HA HA HA!" the villainous voice cried from behind a huge chair in which the person sitting on it is looking at the view. The chair turns around to let the readers see who the villainous villain is.

He is a tall and lean hamster with piercing emerald eyes and blonde hair slicked back with an expensive hair gel. _Not_ cleanly shaven, he wore a white evening suit with a rose pinned on the left side of his chest.

"It is I, Ale-"

Hold it! Hold it!

The villainous villain looked at the narrator. "I beg ya pardon?"

Sorry, just hold it. Would you mind waiting for the cue?

"I've got the cue." The villainous villain told the narrator.

No you didn't.

"I'm sorry," the villainous villain spoke again as he coughed. "I've _got_ the cue!"

Sorry, you didn't.

"Look, I've _got_ the cue! There's a green light shining away in front of me!"

Okay, fine! Let's try that again, shall we?

"MWA HA HA HA!" the villainous voice cried from behind a huge chair in which the person sitting on it is looking at the view. The chair turns around to let the readers see who the villainous villain is.

He is a tall and lean hamster with piercing emerald eyes and blonde hair slicked back with an expensive hair gel. _Not_ cleanly shaven, he wore a white evening suit with a rose pinned on the left side of his chest.

"It is I, Alexander Claudius Penfold!" The villainous villain, now revealed to be Penfold's ex-third cousin, Alexander Claudius Penfold spoke with such triumph and pride. "I have returned!"

 _Now_ you've got the cue.

"Shut up, foolish narrator!" Alexander barked at the narrator before gazing at London from the windows. "For months, I have to endure so much suffering and humiliation in prison, all because of my foolish cousin Ernest Penfold, and his one-eyed friend, Danger Mouse!"

He glares at the photo of Penfold and Danger Mouse with a huge red cross drawn over it. "It is because of Ernest, my dear naive, stupid cousin that I lost _everything!_ My family name, my luxurious home, my money, and my dignity!"

He crumples the photo into a ball of paper and throws it across the room in anger. "And it is because of Danger Mouse that my plans were foiled and my former comrades have betrayed me!"

He glares at the crumbled photo on the floor. "Oh _how_ I like to enact my revenge on the both of them!"

Danger Mouse too?

"Especially Danger Mouse!" Alexander barked at the narrator. "But _especially_ Ernest!"

He lets out a charming yet twisted and evil smile as he tents his fingers and gazes at the photo of Professor Squawkencluck that is pinned onto the wall. "And then _maybe_ have their lovely and intelligent chickadee friend to be my wife once they're dead and once I've regain my wealth."

His cellphone rang, and he is quick to answer it. "Hello?"

 _"Terrible news, boss. Penfold did not die."_ the caller answered.

Alexander felt his anger rising. "How can such a sugar-loving dimwit like him survive the bomb attack I've placed among those sugary gumdrops, Greg?!"

" _He must've notice_ _the bomb, sir."_ the caller, Greg replied. _"He got rid of the bomb before he could digest it."_

"That cousin of mine's smarter than I thought." Alexander scratched his chin as he looks at a notepad filled with Danger Mouse and Penfold's strengths and weaknesses that he obtained last night. "Prepare for our next plan, Greg!"

 _"Yes sir."_

"And this time, Greg," Alexander warned. "It better succeed!"

 _"Yes sir."_

The line went dead as Alexander lets out an evil laugh.

()()()()()

Meanwhile, back in HQ a few hours since Danger Mouse saved Penfold from getting blown up by a gumdrop bomb, Danger Mouse is at the main room, sitting on the couch pit, reading a rather interesting book on Egyptian mythology, while Penfold is taking a refreshing shower and switching to clean clothes after noticing how messy his suit looked this morning, and Professor Squawkencluck is down at her lab, working on yet another invention for secret agents to use in future missions. As for Jeopardy Mouse, she had already left HQ to stay at Estella's place for the remainder of her forced vacation.

Everything's peaceful and quiet around here, I say.

Finally!

No more dangerous missions. No more saving the world from evil. No more of Penfold's silly jokes. No more explosions. No more car chases.

Just peace and quiet at last...

 _DING DONG!_

...for about five paragraphs. Danger Mouse, could you get the door?

A small sighing sound can be heard as Danger Mouse puts the book he was reading down and made his way down to answer the door. When he opened the door, he saw the mailman standing in front of him. He was a beefy and muscular bull with brown skin, dark brown eyes and messy black hair tied in a some sort of ponytail. He seems to be holding a few letters.

"Mail for the top flat." The mailman informed Danger Mouse.

"That's me, chap." Danger Mouse replied as the mailman... er mail-bull gives Danger Mouse the letters. His only good eye scans the bull. "Y'know, I've never seen you before. What happened to our usual mailman, Brian?"

"Oh, that ol' chap?" The mail-bull answered nervously. "Er... he's out with the flu. Cold and flu season, y'know."

"Well it is February." Danger Mouse replied. "I just hope Brian's alright."

The mail-bull narrows his eyes without Danger Mouse's knowledge. "Yes... I'm sure the ol' chap will be alright."

()()()()()

Meanwhile, at the warehouse where Alexander is hiding, Alexander has his evil eyes gazing at a sheepdog, who happens to be the pillar box's regular mailman named Brian, who is currently tied up in ropes and gagged with a dirty cloth and located at the far corner of the room.

()()()()()

Back to the story, the mail-bull was just about to leave when Danger Mouse pulled him back.

"Hang on a moment, chap. Could you at least tell me your name before you go?"

The mail-bull shook his head as he gets himself free from Danger Mouse's grip. "Sorry, mate. Just doing me job."

Danger Mouse watched as the mail-bull quickly left and never looked back. He finds that kind of behavior odd before retreating back inside HQ to look over the letters the mail-bull has given to him.

He walks up to the counter and scans every letter in hand, tossing every one of them into the trash can. "Junk mail... junk mail... junk mail... expired coupon to local restaurant... death letters from Greenback... more junk mail... weight-loss brochure which we don't need..."

As Danger Mouse looks over every letter in hand, Penfold had just gotten out of the bathroom, looking clean and refreshed than he was last night.

Danger Mouse looked up and saw his friend out of the bathroom. "Penfold, how are you feeling?"

"Alright, chief." Penfold replied as he joins his friend at the counter. "The headache's gone."

He notices his friend looking over a bunch of letters. "Any mail, chief?"

"Just junk mails and death letters from Greenback, the usual." Danger Mouse answered casually as he goes back to looking over every letter in hand before reaching what looks like a bill and puts it in front of Penfold. "There's the internet bill. Better lay off the online games and cat videos for a while, Penfold."

"Sorry, chief." Penfold apologized.

"It's alright, Penfold. Even I play online games and watch cat videos on the internet every once in a while." Danger Mouse replied as he continues to look over other letters until reaching an envelope that reads,

 _ **Ernest Penfold.**_

"It's for you." Danger Mouse gives Penfold the envelope who opens it to find a special offer to Raul's Silk Web Spa.

"Who knew Raul would open up his own spa resort in London since our last ship cruise?" Penfold wondered as he notices an invite to said spa inside the envelope. "There's also an invite."

 _ **Ernest Penfold,**_

 _ **You plus two are invited for a special offer at Raul's Silk Web Spa.**_

 ** _Sincerely yours,_**

 ** _A friend._**

"That's a pretty sweet deal, Penfold." Professor Squawkencluck's voice made Penfold jump a little. "Who's the secret admirer?"

Penfold scratches his head a little. It can't be Danger Mouse that sent him the offer, and neither is the professor. "I don't know."

"Hmm, there's something off about that one, professor." Danger Mouse warned Professor Squawkencluck as he eyed the invite in Penfold's grip, not convinced that it's too good to be true. "The last time Penfold received a gift from _a friend_ who happens to be Alexander, he almost got killed. What if it's another one of Alexander's schemes to kill him?"

"The professor only chuckled. "Danger Mouse, there's no way Alexander would try to kill Penfold in a public place full of witnesses. Not when we're going to the spa with Penfold to keep him safe."

Danger Mouse sighs as he, Penfold and Professor Squawkencluck made their way outside and into the Mark 4 with him driving. "I was afraid he would try to kill Penfold with my back turned for even a second."

The professor lets out a confident smile. "That snobby twit would have to go through me first!

She stands up and points forward, much to Danger Mouse and Penfold's confusion.

"Onward to Raul's Silk Web Spa!"


	8. Welcome to Raul's Silk Web Spa

Raul's Silk Web Spa. Not just one of London's best spas, but also one of the most successful and popular spas in the world. Like the one on the last ship cruise Danger Mouse and Penfold went while on another holiday, the interior of Raul's new spa is based on a Japanese design (I know it's cliche and done to death already, mind you), and the aroma in the spa is so breathtaking! Anyone could easily be put to sleep from just sniffing the aroma like knock-out gas.

I think I should give this spa a try some day, give myself some time off from narrating this blasted fanfic.

Speaking of spas, our exciting chapter begins where we cut to one of the steam bathrooms in Raul's spa being in use. Now, as we take a little peak inside the occupied steam bathroom where the entire room is covered in hot steam and built by bamboo wood, we see two individuals wearing nothing but towels under their waistlines, y'know to keep the young readers from being exposed to something they shouldn't be seeing. I mean this _is_ a **K+** rated fanfic after all, how would the parents react to this?

Ahem, anyway, we see Alexander, charismatic yet twisted and evil as usual, having a conversation with the beefy and muscular bull with brown skin, dark brown eyes and messy black hair tied in a ponytail.

"My name's Greg, ya idiot!" the bull, Greg yelled at the narrator. "Get it right!"

Okay, we see Alexander, charismatic yet twisted and evil as usual, having a conversation with _Greg_ , the same bull that tried to give Penfold the poisonous alcohol and gave Danger Mouse a handful of mail in the previous chapter.

"Don't spoil everything, ya fool!" Alexander barked at the narrator. "You're ruining the drama."

Yes! Someone who speaks my language! I say, shall we have a cup of tea later on and discuss on a future drama show starring only the two of us?

"I don't speak moron nor do I associate with stupid peasants like you!" Alexander barked at the narrator again.

Rude.

"Now, before I was _rudely_ interrupted," Alexander turned his attention to Greg. "Have you got _the special room_ reserved for only Ernest Penfold by the time he and his friends show up?"

"Yes, boss." Greg answered without hesitation. "Once the foolish hamster enters _the special room,_ I shall turn the temperature up to such ridiculous levels that he'll die of heat exhaustion the longer he stays in there."

Alexander smiled evilly. "Good, good. And his friend?"

"Well..." the bull spoke. "Would you like to know?"

Alexander eyed him weirdly.

"Let's just say that I've managed to hack in into the agency's main computer without Danger Mouse's knowledge to find more weaknesses to exploit."

Alexander raised one of his eyebrows. "And what other weakness did you find that could be of good use to us?"

Greg lets out a huge grin, which delights Alexander's curiosity even more.

 _ **"Poire** **d'Amour."**_

Dun dun duuunnn!

"Shut up, you stupid peasant!" Alexander barked at the narrator.

Rude.

()()()()()

Meanwhile, our heroes have just arrived at the main entrance to Raul's Silk Web Spa to receive their special offer. While Penfold retain his usual outfit for the entire duration, Danger Mouse and Professor Squawkencluck made a very smart decision on wearing different outfits rather than wear their usual uniforms.

Danger Mouse wore a black turtleneck under a light blue hoodie, and a pair of beige jeans while the professor wore a simple yellow tank top, a pair of white long shorts and a pair of brown sandals.

"Um, chief?" Penfold nervously asked Danger Mouse when he saw what the agent and the professor wore. "Why are you and the professor dressed like that?"

"So that any villain who happened to be going at that spa won't recognize us." Danger Mouse explained to Penfold. "Penfold, I told you to wear something else for an occasion like this should Alexander find you here."

"But this _is_ a different outfit I'm wearing, chief." Penfold protested.

Danger Mouse looks at what Penfold is wearing - his usual cerulean suit with a yellow-and-black striped tie. "Looks the same to me."

Penfold sigh as the trio enter the building. "This is my _casual_ outfit, chief. The one I wore back in HQ is my _work_ outfit."

Danger Mouse sighs before notice that the interior design of Raul's new spa is even more beautiful than the one on the ship cruise. There's brown marbled columns all over the main lobby, all lined up towards the reception at front. By his left there's a couple of people sitting on leather sofas with a more modern design as they wait for their appointments, or just talking amongst themselves.

Unbeknownst to the trio, Greg is spying on them from behind one of the columns.

 _All going according to plan._ The bull thought as he turns his attention to a group of female employees who are putting their perfumes onto themselves. _One dies from the heat, another from the scent._

"Can I help you three?" the receptionist, a Chinese tree viper, asked Danger Mouse, Professor Squawkencluck and Penfold.

"We're here for the special offer given to me by a friend from the mail." Penfold answered.

"Name?"

"Ernest Penfold."

The receptionist looks at Danger Mouse and Professor Squawkencluck. "And they are?"

"My two friends whom I'm allowed to take for the special offer." Penfold explain as he hands her the invite. "Says so on the invite."

The receptionist takes a look at the invite before checking the data on the computer for the name _Ernest Penfold._ She turns to the trio with a smile on her face. "Yes, I have you here right about now, Mr. Penfold."

She motions the trio to go to where the other people are sitting. "If you could make yourselves comfortable while I send someone to be with you, that would be great. Shouldn't take too long now."

Just as the trio were going to leave, they heard the receptionist say, "Tell your one-eyed friend what a nice necklace he's wearing, Mr. Penfold."

If looks could kill, you could see Danger Mouse's face blushing a mad shade of red from embarrassment as he wasted no time to look down and see the golden ankh necklace he wore around his neck. It was the same golden ankh necklace that the giant Egyptian spider, Arachne-Tu made him wear when he got captured, almost got turned to spider chow, and suffering a really bad headache when in reality was his head injury.

"She's right, Danger Mouse." Professor Squawkencluck said to Danger Mouse. "That necklace of yours is lovely."

"Oh, give it a rest already." Danger Mouse pouted. "It's not like it's valuable or anything like that."

His ears perked up a little as he hears the sound of a anvil falling from who knows where. He turns around and, true enough, an anvil is falling from who knows where and it's directly above Penfold! Any second, Penfold will become Pen-flat! Oh the horror!

 _Good grief, Penfold will get killed!_ Danger Mouse wasted no time as he pulls Penfold out of the way just in time for the anvil to crash onto the marbled floor, catching the attention of everybody. Penfold is too startled and frightened from the experience.

"Crikey, somebody could've gotten killed by that!" Penfold cried. "Why is is that everywhere I go, there's always going to be something that'll end with me being dead?"

Hiding behind one of the marbled columns, Alexander cursed himself for not being able to kill Penfold. He then sees Greg, disguised as one of the workers approaching the startled trio.

 _Let's hope Greg succeeds in his part._


	9. Phase One

_**NOTE: Be on the look-out for a few "Zootopia" (Zootropolis in the UK and Europe) references from this chapter and future chapters.**_

 _ **Also, I just found out that the steam bathrooms were actually called saunas.**_

* * *

After the unfortunate incident at the end of the previous chapter, Danger Mouse, Penfold and Professor Squawkencluck each took their seats at one of the leather sofas, waiting for the receptionist to send a worker to either Penfold alone, or all three of them... shortly after a charming reviewer named Zarius suggested that they should check at the stray anvil that almost killed Penfold if it was made from ACME, y'know the industry from the Looney Bin cartoon...

"Looney Tunes, Isambard." Danger Mouse corrects the narrator.

Pardon me, the industry from the Looney _Tunes_ cartoon. And DON'T call me Isambard!

They did, and it turned out to be an ACME anvil.

Penfold kept a nervous glance for the entire duration since that stray ACME anvil have almost flatten him up like pancakes, and he would've been killed if not for Danger Mouse's quick reflexes.

Danger Mouse is currently reading the **_Weekly Entertainment_ ** magazine while constantly keeping an eye on Penfold in case something bad happens to him again and Penfold may not be so lucky the second time.

Professor Squawkencluck just sits where she is, doing nothing but fidget every five minutes the longer it takes for the receptionist to send someone to the trio. The lobby radio is currently playing _"Try Everything"_ by Shakira. It was a song from the newest Disney movie called **_Zootropolis_** ( _ **Zootopia**_ in North America) in which Penfold plans on going to the movies to see it when he and Danger Mouse are not on missions.

How long have they been waiting patiently for? 20 minutes?

The receptionist said someone will come to them right away, but it's starting to feel like forever.

If there's a lesson to be learned from here, and I hope everyone learns this lesson upon reading this as THIS is very important in life, it would be something like this - NEVER believe in anything the receptionist of any businesses tells you. They may look like decent, hard-working people, but I can assure you, for you own good, that on the inside, receptionists are one Satan's many hellish demons that lie, cheat and steal from you.

Be wary of those hellish receptionists.

"Not _all_ receptionists are evil." Danger Mouse spoke to the narrator. "Some are actually decent, hard-working people."

Fine. Name one receptionist who is a decent, hard-working person.

"There's one at Penfold Enterprises in chapter 9 of _**A Better Love Story Than Twilight**_ , who gave me directions to the Penfold family's private library on the week of Penfold's wedding." Danger Mouse answered.

This catches Penfold's attention.

"Why were you at my family's library, chief?"

"To find some answers needed to save you from getting hurt, or worse, killed by Alexander." Danger Mouse answered.

 _And to see if your Aunt Doreen was involved in your villainous ex-cousin's scheme or not which luckily for the both of us, Sly Cooper informed me on SpamChops that she was not involved._

Okay, so there was _one_ receptionist who's decent and hard-working. Name _two_ that are decent and hard-working!

"Quiet! I'm not in the mood right now!" Professor Squawkencluck yelled at the narrator. "I can't think with all the noise, noise, noise!"

The professor cursed herself for wasting her time on stupid spa treatments that make her look like some porcelain doll when she should be in her precious lab, working on the state-of-the-art gadgets for Danger Mouse and the other Danger agents... and beefing up security in the lab to make sure that no evil villain (or a very curious Danger Mouse in some cases) would lay their grubby hands on her inventions. What made her do this?

 _Because Penfold might be in grave danger as long as that Alexander twit is walking amongst society._ A voice whispered in the professor's mind.

"Ernest Penfold?"

Penfold looks upward to notice the male employee, a beefy and muscular bull with brown skin, dark brown eyes and messy black hair tied in a ponytail. Come to think of it, why does that bull look familiar to him?

"Greg?" Penfold cried upon seeing the bull, Greg again since chapter 1. "You work here?"

"Yes, I do work here, mate." Greg answered to Penfold's question with a seemingly enthusiastic smile on his face. "I'm here to escort you, and _only_ you, to one of this spa's _finest_ saunas as the first thing to do on the list."

Danger Mouse raised an eyebrow upon hearing the word ' _list'._

"There's a list Penfold has to follow through in this special offer?" He asked the bull.

Greg turned to Danger Mouse, grinning. "Not just your friend, my friend. The person that gave your friend the special offer have already arranged a list of fun things for each of you three to do at this spa ahead of time."

Danger Mouse, as well as Professor Squawkencluck, isn't convinced. Something _strange_ is going on here, and he'd like to get to the bottom of it if it means protecting Penfold at all costs, whether the bull is actually involved in Alexander's treacherous scheme or not.

"Can we see our lists?" the professor asked Greg. "As customers, I think we have the right to look at our lists."

Greg spots Alexander hiding behind one of the marbled columns from the corner of his eyes who shook his head to the bull in response.

"Er..." Greg spoke to Danger Mouse, Professor Squawkencluck and Penfold. "The person that arranged this special offer... for you three... wanted it to be a... _surprise!_ Yes! A surprise for all three of you!"

The bull nudged Professor Squawkencluck by the elbow. "Wouldn't want to ruin the surprise, am I right, chickadee?"

"Ah, you probably didn't know this, but," The professor spoke nervously as her face blushed a mad shade of red. "A chicken can call another female chicken a chickadee, but when everyone else do it, it's a little..."

Greg gasped. "I am so sorry, love. Didn't mean to come off being offensive."

Alexander, still hiding behind one of the marbled columns, face-palmed himself.

 _You idiot! Stick to the plan!_

Greg, reverting back to his enthusiastic expression, placed a hand on Penfold's shoulder, causing the hamster to flinch a little from the bull's touch. "Anyway, shall we head down to the finest sauna for a steam bath?"

"But I just showered earlier." Penfold protested. "I don't need to have another bath."

"Oh no, no, no, my friend. You're not getting washed up in a steam bath. It's nothing like that. What a steam bath does is fill the room with hot steam for the purpose of cleaning and refreshing your body, and it serves as a good relaxation."

Penfold sighs in relief as Greg escorts him to his destination, leaving Danger Mouse and Professor Squawkencluck behind at the lobby. "Okay, Greg. If you say so."

Danger Mouse notices Greg escorting Penfold away from them. "Er, what about us?"

"We've been waiting forever, y'know." Professor Squawkencluck added, looking irritated.

Greg turned around and noticed Danger Mouse and Professor Squawkencluck still at the lobby. "Ooh sorry, mates. Someone else will be there to help each of you out. Just sit tight a little longer."

Greg could hear the professor muttering in annoyance as he escorts Penfold to his destination. Alexander watches the entire scene with wicked glee.

 _That foolish cousin of mine's gonna be baked alive. Just like that one episode from **10 000 Ways to Die**._

With Penfold and Greg gone, Danger Mouse and Professor Squawkencluck have no choice but to wait at the lobby a little longer. Alexander eyes the duo with such wickedness written all over his face.

 _I hope his friend can handle a strong, sweet scent later on in this story._

()()()()()

Penfold, wearing nothing but a towel below his waistline, follows closely to Greg as they walk through a hallway full of various saunas. Most of the common saunas were already occupied by other customers, but that is not what Greg had in mind for Penfold.

No, what Greg had in mind for Penfold is a _special_ kind.

The kind that can only be found at the end of the hallway. Each sauna has a very common shōji sliding door that leads customers to the room. This particular sauna at the end of the hallway has a very elaborate shōji door, and from what I've heard, this sauna is only reserved for the richest and finest customers.

"After you, Master Penfold." Greg escorts Penfold inside the special sauna room who took a seat in the room.

"If you need anything, just scream." Greg informed Penfold.

Penfold became a bit confused at this. "Eh?"

"Have a nice hot steam bath." And then Greg proceeds to leave Penfold alone in the special sauna room.

"What a nice man." Penfold said as he starts to feel relaxed by the time the hot steam kicked in.

()()()()()

Outside the special sauna, Greg was approached by Alexander. "How did it go, Greg?"

"The fool had no idea that this was merely a trap." Greg answered as he tapes the OUT-OF-ORDER sigh to the door. "The unsuspected customers will think that this sauna is really out of order that Penfold will not be saved in time."

"Ah, fooling the close-minded locals with a fake renovation? Very clever." Alexander was impressed with what Greg had done. "Us bad guys really need to stick together, right?"

"Like glue." Greg replied happily.

Alexander chuckles. "Good one."

He then pulls out a perfume bottle from his suit. The label reads, " _ **Poire d'Amour"**_

"Now we move forward to Phase 2 of my plan."

The wicked hamster turns to Greg and gives him the perfume bottle. "Go fetch Ernest's friend so that we can put Phase 2 in action!"

"Yes sir." Greg obeyed as he leaves Alexander be.

"But make sure no one sees the bottle! Otherwise, the plan won't work and we'll both go to jail!"

"Yes sir." Greg tucks the perfume bottle under his shirt.

()()()()()

Inside the special sauna room, Penfold is feeling relaxed.

Maybe _too_ relaxed if you ask me.

"Zzzzzzz..."

Hang on. Did I just hear snoring?

Penfold is seen fast asleep on the wooden seats as more steam spreads the room and the temperature began to rise to ridiculous level. All the noise Penfold could make from this state are, "Zzzzzz."

How utterly rude!

This is what I get for taking this job just so I can pay the monthly rent?!

I've never felt so... humiliated! Let us see what Danger Mouse and Professor Squawkencluck are up to... in the next chapter of _**Toxic Revenge**_ of course!


End file.
